Christmas Day

And it's quiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeet.

It also happens to be about 5 AM. Since I arrived in the Bay Area, jet lag blessed me with an unconscious state from approximately 9 PM PST to 4 AM PST. As the 3 year old I'm sharing residence with sleeps at 0 Dark Thirty and awakens at approximately "Coffee Grinder", her mother and I fixed it with a bag of Pre Ground from Starbucks. Now I have 2-3 hours of time to myself without the shell shock of a midget run-by, with my underwear on her head.

Busy residing, hot tubbing, eating copious amounts of ham and those teeny little chocolate chip cookies you get from Trader Joe's that are the world's best breakfast cereal. They come in a plastic package the size of a dutch oven; add milk and "The Bourne Ultimatum". You'll come down 3 days later in the rear seat of a Greyhound Bus, spare changing for organic celery and PBS access on the way to San Diego.

I used to laugh at people who fell asleep right after they ate. Up until about 6 months ago, I would eat and then feel like going for a walk. Maybe it's the first squeaks in my metabolism grinding to a shrieking halt, but staggering two steps to fall asleep on the futon after breakfast and waking up belching with saliva down my chin speaks less for me than for the cook. Who made it to his bedroom and crawled under the laundry before being located 2 hours later in much the same state.

Which reminds me...if anyone reading this has seen Pan Dyrektor, you can tell him that I'm coming for him. He's been hiding since I sang "Sto Lat" on his voice mail last September, and I don't sing THAT bad. T., if I have to drop another 2 grand to come back and kick your ___, it will be money well spent. Just make the Bigos.

Off to work up another appetite with a nice brisk walk. It is dark and cold- who wouldn't want to be wearing clothes and wandering around in the cold dark? This would explain multitudes about my dating prospects. That and the belching/saliva. Maybe I should just buy shares in a Retirement Home now...